Dear Family,
I asked God today why I should care anymore? I asked a friend today, why I should do everything that you all expect me to do? My friend said, and I heard God echo, because that’s what Moms do. So through my hurt and tears, I went through my day. I wrote notes for your lunches, to remind you that I love you and pray for you all day. I helped you make scrambled eggs, then prayed with each of you and held you in my arms. I showed you my hurt, so that you would remember that I hurt too and that I have feelings too. I disciplined you, so you would know right from wrong, even though I am tired. I drove kids to Junior High, Morning sports, and elementary school. I dried and washed gym shoes, because they are a favorite. I taped and laced the shoes so that they could be worn again. Remembering what God wants me to do…….I looked at the kitchen with the breakfast dishes piled high, the milk left out, dishwasher ready to be emptied, and the previously spotless floor (from vacuuming at 9:30 last night) now littered with crumbs of food……I took a deep breath and cleaned it all up. I brought more laundry downstairs, turned off lights and started some loads. It is only 8:30am. I am hurt and tired but because I am a Mom and I love you no matter what I will continue.
Note from the author:
Friends,
I have been a Mom for over 22 years. I am a Mom to 5 kids in 5 years, including a set of twins. 4 daughters in 3 years and 1 son. I found this journal entry 2 weeks ago, on a particularly stressful parenting day – providential I think 🙂 It was from about 10 years ago, but it still rang true that day. I know I haven’t experienced everything one could experience as a Mom, but I can tell you we have dealt with a lot! I hope you find as much solace in the words as I did reading it all these years later. At the very least, know that you are not alone and that parenting is hard for everyone. Let’s all judge less, love more and always remember that everyone is dealing with something and it can’t always be seen from the outside.
One step at a time,
Jen
